


periodical

by stellaviatorii



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Erik is not a Happy Bunny, Honestly Charles What Are You Thinking, M/M, Mentions of Menstruation, Mentions of Pregnancy, Miscommunication, Trans Erik, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 17:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7766452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellaviatorii/pseuds/stellaviatorii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Charles makes assumptions, Erik has his foot in his mouth, and supermarkets become viable places to meet your next boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	periodical

**Author's Note:**

  * For [azirapha1e](https://archiveofourown.org/users/azirapha1e/gifts).



The Friday night shift had been going swimmingly, if Charles said so himself. So of course five minutes before closing someone dashed through the doors like a thundercloud, brooding over aisle two until a small bundle of purchases were slammed down at his checkout.

 

Chocolate, tampons, wine. Charles had seen this before.

 

“That’ll be $24.70,” he said. The customer - scowling, but in a somewhat endearing way - huffed in irritation and unearthed a handful of bills. Charles counted out his change, and just as the clock hit 9pm the customer left the store as quickly as he arrived.

 

This would be nothing noteworthy, if he hadn’t come back a month later.

 

Same items, same swiftness, same frustration seeping from the man like background radiation - but this time Charles laughed when he noticed the absorbency rating on the little brightly coloured box. “Good luck with that,” he said cryptically, handing over the receipt with a wink. The customer frowned, glanced down at his purchases, and stared back up at Charles for a moment before disappearing. A cold reception, but not unusual. The number of times Charles’ friendly service demeanour had been met with blank expressions was fast approaching the rate of his college debt.

 

So, again, nothing noteworthy. Charles added him to the list of regulars whose lives intersected with his for a few nondescript minutes before diverting back into their normal trajectory. Tampon Man slotted in nicely between Thursday evening Cucumber & Lube Woman and early weekend Beer Guys-who-were-probably-kids-but-hey-if-the-ID-fits. Sometimes, during the especially dry hours, he imagined what their lives were like. He wondered if they were just as stagnant as he was.

 

Apparently not, since another month and a half passed and Tampon Man was shoving a pregnancy test across the counter. “And this,” he tersely added, placing a carton of orange juice beside it. Charles raised his eyebrows.

 

“ _This is one doodle that can’t be undid, homeskillet_ ,” he quoted.

 

“What?”

 

“ _Juno_. 2007. You know, with Ellen Page?” Who, privately, Charles thought looked eerily similar to his coworker Kitty.

 

“No.”

 

“Oh. Uh, it’s a good movie,” Charles muttered, ringing up the items to hide his embarrassment. Raven always said his charm would dry up at some point. “That’ll be-”

 

A credit card was unceremoniously shoved in his face. Erik Lehnsherr (apparently) tapped his fingers against the counter until Charles had bagged his goods. Despite the obvious stress in his eyes, he was actually quite good looking - but, no, all evidence was pointing to the fact that Charles should not try to flirt with this man. A bit of a disappointment, really.

 

Erik was gone before he could even consider fucking over his common sense and asking him out to dinner. Which was probably a good thing but, well, Charles was never one to sacrifice a possible shag.

 

Too bad he totally lost his chance with Erik (who was never really on the market anyway). At least, that’s what he thought until he arrived at work the next morning to find someone already waiting by the entrance.

 

“Hello?”

 

“About time,” Erik said, bouncing on his heels. He even _smiled_ at Charles when he opened shop. Must have been a good result either way. _Good for him_ , Charles thought, swallowing the bitter pill.

 

To his surprise, Erik didn’t dash off when Charles had settled by his counter. “Uh - is there something you need help with, sir?” _Another test? Parenting advice from a childless graduate? A boot to stomp said graduate’s heart into the pavement with?_

 

“No, no, I just -” Erik paused. “I’d like to, ah, take you out.”

 

Charles frowned. “In an assassination way or a date way?”

 

Erik didn’t take the bait. “I would like to take you out to dinner,” he said in a rush, eyes focused on the tobacco cabinet behind Charles’ head.

 

“You - _what_?”

 

“Dinner,” he repeated. “A date.”

 

The universe was screwing with him, of course. Revenge for all that weed he smoked at Oxford. “That’s - that would not be such a wise idea,” Charles finally replied, wincing at his own words. Erik’s face fell.

 

“Why not?”

 

Jesus Christ, did he need to spell it out? “I don’t interfere with relationships. I’m very flattered, my friend, but I feel you should have a discussion with your girlfriend.”

 

Silence. And then - _Erik was laughing_.

 

“Oh - sorry, should I have said wife?”

 

If it were possible, Erik started laughing harder, leaning against the counter like it was the only thing keeping him standing. “Oh my God,” he spluttered, “oh my God, this is - you think I’m -”

 

By this point Charles was blushing furiously, the smallest hint of heat in his eyes urging him to wrap this up before he started to cry. “I apologise,” he said stiffly over Erik’s attempts to catch his breath, “if that was rude.”

 

“No, no, that was hilarious.”

 

Charles’ forehead, already in a knot, curled tighter. “Sorry?”

 

Though there was no one else in the store this early in the morning, Erik leaned closer and murmured, barely audible: “Those were my tampons.”

 

Charles’ eyes widened. “Oh.”

 

Erik bit his lip, waiting for the inevitable backlash. Charles reached out and gently touched his shoulder. “That’s quite alright. My sister is - _wait_ ,” his eyes grew wide, “Oh my God, are you actually pregnant?”

 

“No. False alarm, thankfully.”

 

A terrible thought suddenly struck Charles. “Do you need help? Like, getting out of a bad situation help? I could contact the police if you-”

 

“Charles,” Erik met his eyes - _how did he know my name? Oh, yes, employee name tag, right_ \- and smirked. “I’m not in a relationship. There is no situation.”

 

“So you mean-”

 

Erik straightened and offered a hand. “I’m Erik. Nice to meet you.”

 

Charles exhaled, caught up in the warm light Erik suddenly radiated. The sun was coming out, so to speak. “Charles. We’ve gone about this all wrong, haven’t we?”

 

“There’s always time to fix it. Seven tonight?”

 

“Perfect,” Charles grinned. “And by the way - should you need it, I have a staff discount.”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://jadziad.tumblr.com)


End file.
